Schnozzberries taste like Schnozzberries, but sweeter (136th new thing).

August 15, 2011 § 1 Comment

A few months ago I ordered a package of miracle fruit tablets. You’ve heard of them right? You let this tablet dissolve in your mouth and then proceed to eat your way through the contents of your kitchen, tasting everything from lemons to vinegar to sour cream. The miracle of the pill-like tabs is that they change the way your taste buds react to tart or sour foods. The flavors turn sweet.

Initially the package was lost in the mail, but several weeks later when I  contacted the seller she was kind enough to send some more miracle fruit. It arrived on Day One Hundred Thirty-Six, so I decided to have a “flavor tripping party” as my new activity. Except I was alone, so it was only a party of one (boo-hoo).

I prepared with a trip to the grocery store and purchased a number of random sour items. Grapefruit, lemons, limes, sour cream, Guinness. All came recommended by various online trippers. I really didn’t know what to expect, but the first thought I had was how much easier the juice cleanse would have gone after popping one of the flavor-changing fruits. Because that drink was t-a-r-t.

I sliced up the fruit and arranged it all on a plate. Since I would be tripping alone (not the recommended way, but oh well), I only cut up a small portion of the fruit.  Then, I dissolved a tablet in my mouth, rolling it around the whole of my tongue. It took about ten minutes for the entire thing to dissolve. Ten minutes of anticipation. My mind wandered to each corner of the kitchen, probing the pantry and fridge for anything extra I could think to try. I grabbed a bottle of red wine vinegar from the cabinet and readied myself for what was supposed to be a mind-blowing experience.

Here are the highlights:

  • Lemon:. It tasted like a tart super sweet lemonade. It made my jaw ache.
  • Lime: Like the lemon, but lime-aid.
  • Grapefruit: I find grapefruits way too bitter and generally nasty. I hated that the juice in the Arden’s Garden juice cleanse was mostly squeezed from this fruit. I don’t like Greyhounds (vodka grapefruit). So I was most anxious about putting a slice of grapefruit in my mouth. I still tasted a little of the bitterness, but it was highly tolerable. Sweet even.
  • Sour cream: The half a spoonful of sour cream I put in my mouth tasted like cream cheese. It was weird. On the one hand, I was eating a spoon of sour cream, by itself. On the other, it was damn good.
  • Vinegar: I took a spoonful of red wine vinegar into my mouth and let it wash around before spitting it back out. Not because it was so disgusting, but more because it’s vinegar, and surely that’s not good to ingest undiluted. It tasted like an old wine, drinkable but a bit stale. Mellowed out the astringent flavors.
  • Guinness: I saved the stout for last, anticipating the chocolate milkshake effect the beer would produce. I wouldn’t say that it tasted like a milkshake, but I could see where the comparison comes in. It had the thickness and any bitter undertones were made sweet. I would say it was more like a malt, no chocolate. It also made me realize that I kind of prefer regular old Guinness without the influence of taste bud inhibitors. I like my beers hoppy and my ciders dry.

Overall, the experience was fun, but  not mind-blowing. I still have nearly two full packs of the miracle tablets, so I can definitely see a “flavor tripping” party in my future. This time I’ll include other people.

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