A-Hole Santa (271st new thing).

January 28, 2012 § Leave a comment

Henry from Chunklet and Armando from The Drunken Unicorn set up in a local business every holiday season for a classic photo op: A-Hole Santa. You can bring friends, children, pets, and even your favorite stuffed animal and be photographed with the drunken Santa and his sidekick Jesus (pronounced “Hay-Zeus”). On Day Two Hundred Seventy-Two Murphy and I met Kristin and Johnny for our own chance at making some holiday memories.

Johnny and Murphy, Santa and Jesus.

Both the boy and the pup look a little confused.

Kristin and I join in the fun.

I was supposed to be pouring beer on Johnny's head, but instead just look transfixed by the can. Meanwhile, Murph makes a move on Kristin.


One Hundred Two. Teeee Ball.

July 6, 2011 § 1 Comment

On Day One Hundred Two I met my friend Kristin to watch her son Johnny play T-Ball. Unfortunately, the other team chose not to show up, so the “game” turned into more of a practice with a bunch of four year-olds running around the field tackling each other for the ball. It was adorable.


If you’ve never had the fortune to see a sports team populated by players under five, you’re missing out. The first time I witnessed such an event was watching my four year-old brother play soccer. My dad was the coach. All we could see was a great herd of about twenty little boys slowly moving up and down a pint sized field. The goalie sat in the grass looking for clovers as the mass of bodies moved across the green like a pinball in slow motion. You could also see their little feet kicking forward at each other, toward the center of the group, presumably where there may (or may not) have been a soccer ball. Every so often the ball would escape from the stampede of children and there would come a break as everyone rushed to the new location where the herd would resume its previous activity.

I got it!

Race for the ball

T-ball was slightly different in that baseball is a more complicated sport to teach to a kid. There’s defense and offense and running around bases and throwing the ball to a specific location, which changes as the runner advances. In Johnny’s game, dads stood out in the field with various little boys around them while one player swung at the ball placed solidly on the tee. Most of the time the ball barely made it to the fielders hunched in the grass. And if it did a small fight ensued on who would get the ball. One boy picks it up and then gets tackled because another boy wants it. It’s the most basic, beginning idea of baseball. Get the ball.

There may have been some biting

The kids all did well, though you could see a look boredom forming on their faces as they waited for their turn to hit. Johnny was adorable as he kept running over to us to say hello. There was a juice break and another round of practice until the tackling came to be too much and the dads decided to call it a day.

A hit!

I had a great time, mostly for the company, and despite going out to root for a team called the Yankees. Next time I will have to see how crazy it gets with eleven more kids and two teams involved!

Juice Break

Day Thirty-Six. Johnny sees the Braves.

April 24, 2011 § 2 Comments

On Day Thirty-Six, we went to a Braves game (again). I thought I would have to order a Tomarita, but instead we invited Kristin and Johnny to go with us to celebrate the little one’s fourth birthday. And it was his first ball game.

We helped him make an impromptu sign and decked him out in my Bravos hat and a foam tomahawk, so he was all set to go.

Seeing a ballgame with a four year old is quite the experience. Even though he seemed a little disappointed that we weren’t actually going down to the field to play baseball, he had a pretty good time being a little cheerleader. I certainly had a ton of fun whispering heckles and cheers into his ear and having him shout them out with unbridled enthusiasm.

The Braves didn’t win, and in fact almost didn’t even get a hit. But the evening was probably one of the most fun losing games I had seen. Though Johnny probably won’t remember the experience, I certainly will have fond memories.

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